I can't take credit for this one but it fits me too well
n spirit of the express lanes at the grocery stores, and so I don't end up killing anyone, businesses need to incorporate more line classifications.
I propose 4 lines.
1. Pain in the ass - If you are at the bank and you need to transfer money between four accounts while cashing a third-party, out-of-state check, you go in this line. I shouldn't have to spend an extra five minutes in line because you are having trouble making a payment on your 87 Ford Escort.
2. No Fucking Clue - If you are the post office and you don't know how to fill out the address label so you are going to bring the blank form to the teller to have him/her help you fill it out, you go here. I've been there, I understand, but your ignorance shouldn't be a burden on everybody who has a fucking clue.
3. Slow - If you wait until your entire grocery order is wrung up, bagged, and totaled before you open your purse to get your checkbook out, you are banished to this line. The store's name is not going to change, go ahead a write down. Your signature is not going to change, go ahead and sign it. The date is not going to change (although sometimes it feels like it when I'm stuck behind you), go ahead and write it down.
4. Efficient - If you know what you are doing, if you aren't going to chat up the clerk, if you know how the credit card machine works and if you want nothing more than to get out of the store as quickly as you can, this is the line for you. It's also sometimes referred to as the single male line. Apu knows what I'm talking about.
If there are only two or three lanes open, the first three categories can be combined together in any way. The Efficient lane is never combined with any other categories. There should never be only one lane available.
Those are your choices and if you choose the Efficient lane when you shouldn't have, the clerk/cashier has the power to "call you out" and you are then required to pay $20 to each person who was stuck in line behind you.
I propose 4 lines.
1. Pain in the ass - If you are at the bank and you need to transfer money between four accounts while cashing a third-party, out-of-state check, you go in this line. I shouldn't have to spend an extra five minutes in line because you are having trouble making a payment on your 87 Ford Escort.
2. No Fucking Clue - If you are the post office and you don't know how to fill out the address label so you are going to bring the blank form to the teller to have him/her help you fill it out, you go here. I've been there, I understand, but your ignorance shouldn't be a burden on everybody who has a fucking clue.
3. Slow - If you wait until your entire grocery order is wrung up, bagged, and totaled before you open your purse to get your checkbook out, you are banished to this line. The store's name is not going to change, go ahead a write down. Your signature is not going to change, go ahead and sign it. The date is not going to change (although sometimes it feels like it when I'm stuck behind you), go ahead and write it down.
4. Efficient - If you know what you are doing, if you aren't going to chat up the clerk, if you know how the credit card machine works and if you want nothing more than to get out of the store as quickly as you can, this is the line for you. It's also sometimes referred to as the single male line. Apu knows what I'm talking about.
If there are only two or three lanes open, the first three categories can be combined together in any way. The Efficient lane is never combined with any other categories. There should never be only one lane available.
Those are your choices and if you choose the Efficient lane when you shouldn't have, the clerk/cashier has the power to "call you out" and you are then required to pay $20 to each person who was stuck in line behind you.
posted by Marc at 12:43 AM
1 Comments:
amen
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