the latest entry as of Jan 5th 2007
Everyone in My chemical romance needs to get leukemia, I can't stand these guys. They need to go away and stop making music. that is all I have to say on that matter.
It really pisses me off I'm never in a writing mood when I sit down to write anymore. I keep having all this shit floating around while I drive or while I'm reading a book or something that is taking 60-70% of my attention and I never get to a pen or a keyboard before I lose it or something or I change my mind about what i was thinking before.
the movie jarhead has been stuck in my head a lot though, I've been thinking about it a lot lately, just scenes from it popping back to me, the music in it, the guy at the end of the movie who was the vietnam vet and the line that was at the beginning of the movie and again at the end "every war is different, and every war is the same" I want to see it again - I think that might make it stop popping in my head so much. That worked when I rewatched Lord of War earlier in the year too. Come to think of it the music style through both movies were vary similar. I really really really like the track "full chemical gear" in that movie. Can something be soothing and frantic at the same time, because thats how I think of that song.
I've been thinking a lot too about the autobiography of Malcolm X I've been reading since break as well. I liked it a lot better when he was in Harlem as a hustler running some kind of scam, dodging police and getting high and throwing in philosophical bits and chunks and asides in the story, flashes to the future and what not but not so much when he's becoming a minister for the nation of islam. there is only so much "the white man is the devil" that I can take in one sitting, mostly because I can't stand reading him saying things like: the white man should drop to his knees when he sees a black man and say he's sorry for all the crimes he's committed against him and his people. I don't feel any personal responsibility for any of that. I feel no accountability for anyone's actions or situation other than my own unless I personally had a hand in putting someone there. That is not to say I don't feel remorse, compassion, or refuse to donate to charities, I just don't feel particularly accountable for them, that it's my fault. From the book it seems he would say a great many things are my fault, and I disagree with that assessment.
Another interesting point made in the book, several times in fact, is the sticking point that blacks (catholic ones) are tricked into worshiping a blue eyed white Jesus when that would seem highly unlikely to be true. Do people really give a shit about this? I've never gone in much for organized religion in any way shape or form based on principle but do people really give a second thought about what color jesus was? I'm fairly certain God would be whatever the fuck he wants and we're going to argue that a white jesus has something to do with the black American's struggle? Does praying to a black jesus upset religious white people? Does it upset them that black people want to pray to a black jesus? Is this similar to the atheist claiming because he is an atheist he shouldn't have to hear or witness anyone else practicing any kind of religion around him? Why do you care? Again as I've said I'm not much for religion but I don't think jesus would want anyone actually getting upset by any of that, much less fighting over it.
I picked up my HS year book, any of them, for the first time since I left for college. There was comics I had cut out of the newspaper inserted throughout the pages. I enjoyed finding them. I looked at some photos of people I haven't seen since then. I wondered if I would be surprised to see them on the street and not remember they probably look different, or if they think I looked the same and was surprised to see me. I read some of the stuff people wrote in my book and was I dunno, I kinda felt some kind of fondness for the stuff in there - I honestly didn't think that would happen. Not that people wrote mean shit, just that I didn't think I'd care, most of those people I haven't talked to at all since, or maybe just once, but seriously, people who I didn't think I'd care about one or another... it kinda felt pleasant to see what they had wrote.
I had even written a little thing to myself in my yearbook because I thought it would be a good little reflection on myself to frame things up. The best part was where I read the term 'honors lunch.' Honors Lunch was term we all collectively came up for when you had a study hall next to a lunch period and would eat or at least hang around the cafeteria twice, once during your study hall and once during your actual lunch, it was nice you could play a whole game of frisbee and eat or at least get something done. 30 min to walk across the school, get your food, eat, and so much as have 3 min to yourself to relax or do anything at all was impossible. I totally forgot about that term, it made me happy to remember it again.
It really pisses me off I'm never in a writing mood when I sit down to write anymore. I keep having all this shit floating around while I drive or while I'm reading a book or something that is taking 60-70% of my attention and I never get to a pen or a keyboard before I lose it or something or I change my mind about what i was thinking before.
the movie jarhead has been stuck in my head a lot though, I've been thinking about it a lot lately, just scenes from it popping back to me, the music in it, the guy at the end of the movie who was the vietnam vet and the line that was at the beginning of the movie and again at the end "every war is different, and every war is the same" I want to see it again - I think that might make it stop popping in my head so much. That worked when I rewatched Lord of War earlier in the year too. Come to think of it the music style through both movies were vary similar. I really really really like the track "full chemical gear" in that movie. Can something be soothing and frantic at the same time, because thats how I think of that song.
I've been thinking a lot too about the autobiography of Malcolm X I've been reading since break as well. I liked it a lot better when he was in Harlem as a hustler running some kind of scam, dodging police and getting high and throwing in philosophical bits and chunks and asides in the story, flashes to the future and what not but not so much when he's becoming a minister for the nation of islam. there is only so much "the white man is the devil" that I can take in one sitting, mostly because I can't stand reading him saying things like: the white man should drop to his knees when he sees a black man and say he's sorry for all the crimes he's committed against him and his people. I don't feel any personal responsibility for any of that. I feel no accountability for anyone's actions or situation other than my own unless I personally had a hand in putting someone there. That is not to say I don't feel remorse, compassion, or refuse to donate to charities, I just don't feel particularly accountable for them, that it's my fault. From the book it seems he would say a great many things are my fault, and I disagree with that assessment.
Another interesting point made in the book, several times in fact, is the sticking point that blacks (catholic ones) are tricked into worshiping a blue eyed white Jesus when that would seem highly unlikely to be true. Do people really give a shit about this? I've never gone in much for organized religion in any way shape or form based on principle but do people really give a second thought about what color jesus was? I'm fairly certain God would be whatever the fuck he wants and we're going to argue that a white jesus has something to do with the black American's struggle? Does praying to a black jesus upset religious white people? Does it upset them that black people want to pray to a black jesus? Is this similar to the atheist claiming because he is an atheist he shouldn't have to hear or witness anyone else practicing any kind of religion around him? Why do you care? Again as I've said I'm not much for religion but I don't think jesus would want anyone actually getting upset by any of that, much less fighting over it.
I picked up my HS year book, any of them, for the first time since I left for college. There was comics I had cut out of the newspaper inserted throughout the pages. I enjoyed finding them. I looked at some photos of people I haven't seen since then. I wondered if I would be surprised to see them on the street and not remember they probably look different, or if they think I looked the same and was surprised to see me. I read some of the stuff people wrote in my book and was I dunno, I kinda felt some kind of fondness for the stuff in there - I honestly didn't think that would happen. Not that people wrote mean shit, just that I didn't think I'd care, most of those people I haven't talked to at all since, or maybe just once, but seriously, people who I didn't think I'd care about one or another... it kinda felt pleasant to see what they had wrote.
I had even written a little thing to myself in my yearbook because I thought it would be a good little reflection on myself to frame things up. The best part was where I read the term 'honors lunch.' Honors Lunch was term we all collectively came up for when you had a study hall next to a lunch period and would eat or at least hang around the cafeteria twice, once during your study hall and once during your actual lunch, it was nice you could play a whole game of frisbee and eat or at least get something done. 30 min to walk across the school, get your food, eat, and so much as have 3 min to yourself to relax or do anything at all was impossible. I totally forgot about that term, it made me happy to remember it again.
posted by Marc at 2:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home