Saturday, March 15, 2008

a giant bag of douche

I somehow end up accidentally where every douchebag has a drink at night on vacation, I don't know how the fuck it happens. Let me explain...

I'll start this out with "hey fuck you, I deserve a vacation so shut the fuck up." I've had more exams than I have classes this last week, two hockey games scheduled after 9pm, I drove 3 hours home thursday night, was in bed by 1am, up at 4am to catch a plane, missed my shuttle because of a delayed flight and ended up taking a $70 cab ride to do a visit day for grad school from 9am til 9pm, glad-handed profs and students, got back on a plane at 1030, home by 1230, back on a plane to Utah and then 2nd flight to Idaho saturday morning where I am now.

But to the point, douchebags, why are there so many of them out at night in places I end up on vacation at? The only bar in this town that had people in was called like Red Barron Rodeo or something horrible like that. I go in, the highest quality beer they have is a corona. In a 40oz bottle. So I end up paying $3.50 for a fucking rolling rock while I watch the bartended pour out literally over two bottles of Jäger. The walls are covered in brewery provided advertisement pieces, not a single bit of character in the place. The DJ spun 3 Bon Jovi songs and at least 2 country songs in under 40 min, and they had a fucking mechanical bull. The place looked, felt, and smelled, like the basement of a frat house. Its like a giant warning sign that say "if you dont start pretending to be a real adult soon, you'll end up being these people."

Oh and the best part? If I would have hung around another hour, I would have caught the bikini bullriding event. Yes thats right they parade girls up onto a mechanical bull in what I can only assume are "loaner" swimsuits to be jeered at, then thrown to a large mat. Sounds to me like a great set up for a bukake video. The DJ actually plugged the event by saying "for all you perverts out there and I know we have a lot of them here tonight..."

At least I'm not in mexico, I'd probably have thrown up if I heard a Jimmy Buffet song.

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